By: John Silva – October, 2022
I was talking to a minister, and we were having a serious discussion about marriage when he told me about a couple that he knew. Obviously, he did not tell me their names and I had no idea who they were. The young couple had gotten a marriage license. They were legally married and even had a church wedding. In time they had two children, and while things were tough they managed. However, the husband started drinking heavily, and when he got drunk he became abusive and he would beat his wife and his children. He also began having affairs with other women and would spend all of his money on these women and booze leaving no money for food, the rent, and his family.
One day, he just didn’t come home leaving his family in a desperate situation. They never saw him again. The wife was thankful he had left, but she was terrified that he would come back and what he would do if he found out that she had divorced him. So, it didn’t happen. They had no income, and she had no real job skills. She would frequently have terrible nightmares about him returning. Time passed, and she did the best she could to keep her family together. But, as a single mom she barely had enough money to pay her bills and life was very hard for her and her children.
She had been struggling for several years when she met someone. There was chemistry and they began a relationship. Over time they ended up living together. Life wasn’t perfect, but it was a whole lot better than before. Her new partner treated her well, paid the rent, and bought the groceries. Finally, she could breathe again. He loved her children and they loved him and they became a family.
After sharing this story, the pastor asked me which man was her husband? Was she still married to the man who had terrorized her and her children and then abandoned them? Or, had the boyfriend become her husband because he was faithful and they were now a family? An interesting conversation followed.
In the preceding accounting, the woman is technically still legally married to her husband, but he has abandoned her. So, here are some questions for you to consider:
Is there a moral law that would supersede man’s laws?
Getting a Marriage License means you are legally married and you can be held responsible for certain actions.
Would it have been better if she hadn’t married her husband? Why?
Do you think God would turn His back on her. Was she was committing adultery?
Would God understand and welcome her and her partner into His kingdom?
Will God judge us by the letter of the law or the spirit of the law.
Is it OK to bend or ignore God’s laws? For example, the law says Thou shall not kill. Does that mean never? What about war? Or, abortion to save the mother’s life.
Was she living in “sin”? How will God judge her?