By: John Silva – January 21, 2019
She had been his housekeeper for a number of years, and during that time she was an excellent employee with a solid work ethic. Additionally, she was always cheerful, respectful, and honest. In short, she was exactly what he needed.
She had a winsome habit of wearing a smile as she did just a bit more than she was asked to do. For example, sometimes she would bring him a bite to eat, and they would sit down and have lunch together. As he lived alone, his eating habits were irregular at best, and she enjoyed having lunch together.
Sometimes, they would sit and talk… usually about their children… She had five and he had three. He was always amazed at how she could work and raise such well-behaved children… and they were all doing so well. In fact, he had hired some of her children to help him with things that needed doing around the house. Two of her children would soon be graduating college and the others were all doing well.
Sometime later, he found out that she was the sole support for her family as her husband was unable to work. But, she never complained that her life was too hard or unfair. In fact, you might say it was just the opposite. She took pride in being able to take care of her family. He admired her ability to wear so many different hats and keep so many balls in the air at once. He knew she would have done anything for them.
She was a first generation immigrant, but her English was excellent. And, she was such an asset. Even though she had never asked him for a raise, he gave her one anyway. The additional money was always appreciated, but never requested. However, sometimes, she would ask him for his opinion on legal or financial matters. He was impressed with her positive attitude, and her forthright right approach.
While he was reading some stories in a copy of Guidepost magazine, the thought came to him that his housekeeper would probably enjoy reading these inspiring and uplifting stories as much as he did. She seemed surprised when he asked if he could give her a subscription to the magazine. He found, as he got older, it was fulfilling to serve others.
While filling out the online subscription card, he came across an article about doing random acts of kindness. Shortly afterwards, as if by providence, he noticed an electric bill on the kitchen countertop near her purse that wasn’t his. It belonged to his housekeeper. She had misplaced it, and he noted there was a significant overdue balance. When he asked her if she was in arrears due to a lack of funds, she said yes. Without a thought, he said that was not acceptable, and he wrote her a check for the full amount due.
For a little while, she stood there stunned, and then she started to cry. Soon they were both shedding gentle tears of joy. She gave him a hug which he returned, and she told him how much she appreciated all of the times he had helped her. He thanked her, but told her she wasn’t seeing the whole story.
He asked her to sit down and he explained how he felt she had it backward. She looked confused. So, he shared his thoughts with her on what living a full life meant. He explained, to live a full life it is just as important to be a receiver as a giver. So, by accepting his gift she was allowing him to be a giver. It was all a bit confusing, but eventually, she began to grasp the concept. Even so, she thought it odd when he told her sometimes he sometimes looked for opportunities to let other people help him so they could be givers. She was intrigued and asked him for an example. So, he related the following story.
As usual, he was late turning in the five-year plan for his department to the dean. He hated doing these plans because they were such a waste of time. The dean’s secretary would check off each plan as they came into the office… put them into the correct file cabinet in the proper order and that was that… they were never seen again. However, it had to be done. So what to do? Just then. the light bulb clicked on.
He asked “Mary”, one of his students, if she could do him a favor.
Whatcha need, chief?
Could you run this over to the dean’s office for me?
No problemo… and off she went.
It was so simple. He gave Mary a chance to be a giver and he became the receiver, and they both were the better for it.
He could see by the look on her face, she was beginning to get the concept of givers and receivers, and how important it was to be both. She now understood what he meant
when he said she had it backward. He also pointed out that without receivers, there could be no givers, and without givers, there could be no receivers.
How big should an act of kindness be, is like asking “How high is up?” Lots of variables here. Some things you might want to consider. What is the degree of need? Will the benefit be immediate or in the future? Will the act require a small or large sacrifice? Will it save a life? Will it benefit one person or many? Do small acts of kindness count as much as larger ones?
Looking for opportunities to do acts of kindness is a wonderful and powerful way to energize ourselves and those around us. So, what is the proper response when someone offers to help you? A simple thank you does nicely, and by accepting you will both be blessed.
Why do some people refuse to accept your gift of kindness… even when they need it? I guess they just don’t understand the concept of giving and receiving, and how sad it is to quench the joy of giving and receiving… So what to do?
When you are the receiver… Just say thank you. As a giver, be thoughtful and don’t blow your own horn.