By: John Silva – July 2023
He slowly snaps his fingers setting the beat, and he sings it smooth and low. He adds some bootylicious undertones and brings it to a sultry boil.
Doc-ta, Doc-ta… What to do?
My baby’s left me… and this old fool don’t have a clue… what should I do?
Doc-ta? You’s asking how’s I’zs I a feeling? I’zs a feeling blue. You might even say, I’zs blue… through and through. Without her, I gots nothin. I’zs just a beat up ‘ol cardboard box with nothin inside but dust and dirty rags.
Doc-ta, Doc-ta… What to do?
Oh… Good Golly… Miss Molly! Hello… and HELLO… AND, HELLOOOOO!!! Ain’t you the most beautiful thing that’s I’z ever see’d. Tell me sweet dream, what’s your name?
My name? You wants to know my name? Honey, my names is Velvet, and when I’zs wants to, I’zs can beez very smooth.
Velvet, your name fits you like a pair of five hundred dollar jeans, stretched nice and tight, yes, they’s stretched very tight indeed. Youse such a fine lookin woman, and I’s gots a question for you. Do you wants to do me… like I wants to do you?
Doc-ta, Doc-ta… I’s thinks I’s has gone to heaven… and I’s found my do.
Listen here you fool, what’s you thinking talking at me like that? No! No!
Oh Velvet, I’zs done lost my mind… I can’t help myself… all I knows is I’zs wants you. And I’zs dooze anyting for you.
Baby boy, you’s gots no chance! Forget dat dream! It ain’t gonna be. You’s a fool too’s talk’s to me that way. Wasz Youz just born stupid or’d they’d drop you on your head and kicked you out the door?
But, honey cakes, What’s can I dooz to make you’z love me?
Furst you gots to treat me “nice.” You gots to pour love all over me, and I’s means all over. I needs to hear some sweet talk. I needs to feel fire. I needs to feel ariel bombs exploding in my brain and between my legs.
Oh Velvet, baby, that’s what I’z wants to do. But, I needs you to learn me how to talk “nice.” Teach me baby. How’s a poor ignorant boy like me sposed to know how to talk to a goddess like you?
Doc-ta, Doc-ta… What to do?